I woke up on this Saturday with a smile on my face, and not because I didn’t wake up to Becky the blimp (which Boosh did again for those wondering). The reason there was a smile on my face was because we are exactly two weeks until college football is back. Can you smell it in the air? The BBQ? The puke from someone who is new to tailgating? The freshman girls in boots and sundresses? It’s almost here, and if that doesn’t get you a hard on, you’ve got problems.
One of the great things about football season is that you’re going to be glued to some game from 11 a.m. until midnight. When you’re not at the game watching your team, you’re parked in a bar (or on your couch) watching the competition on TV. The broadcasts will include some pure sex appeal on the sidelines, too. Being the resident expert on the opposite sex, I have put in the hard work to rank the hottest sideline reporters we will see this fall.
10. Stacy Slayden – KLBK
Stacy isn’t technically a sideline reporter and chances are 100% that you haven’t heard of her. See, Stacy was an intern at FOX when I was working there who I tried to schmooze into a little summer thing. My roommate ended up taking her on a date. He took her to see Bruno. What an idiot. Hailing from Texas Tech Kappa, she now is the sports reporter for Lubbock’s KLBK. She is absolutely gorgeous. Plus she can play a mean game of golf. Nailed a 50-footer on her third hole to ever play. She’s a keeper.
9. Sam Ponder – ESPN Networks
Okay, Okay. I’m cheating here because she took herself off the sidelines this year to spend more time with her child. BUT, she is still smoking hot. Note that she’d be much, much higher on this list if she was actually going to be roaming ESPN’s sidelines this fall. Trust me, though. She’ll be back. They always come back. I just couldn’t not include her on this list.
8. Charissa Thompson – FOX Sports
My boy Will deFries told me I absolutely had to include her despite her working in the NFL, and not college football. Let’s pretend she’s rocking that FOX Sports mic on Saturdays and not Sundays this fall. Also, she can do this:
7. Kayce Smith – ESPN
Don’t know Kayce? Well, you should. This A&M grad is the greatest thing to ever come out of College Station (might not be saying much but she’s still hot). She’s got legs for days that could squeeze the life out of you. True story: She also beat cancer. Well played, Kayce.
6. Erin Andrews – FOX Sports
Five years ago, Erin was by far the number one talent on the sidelines. Ever since I saw her in the probiotics commercial, she’s dipped a little in my eyes. She’s lost a little on her fastball. Nothing really against her looks, it’s just that you can’t look at a girl the same when she’s on national TV talking about her bowel movements. Luckily, Erin is still rocking a body that gleams sex appeal. Erin also comes from the University of Florida Zeta chapter. What are they putting in the water down there?
5. Allie LaForce – CBS
Allie LaForce is the only reason I watch CBS games. They are that bad as a broadcast, but at least you’ve got something to look at in Allie. While the games are usually a snooze fest, Allie brings the excitement to my pants. She is also a former Miss Ohio from 2005. You can’t argue against that.
4. Laura Rutledge – ESPN Networks
Let’s throw another girl on this list who I have had the pleasure of working with. I knew her as Laura McKeeman until she went and married Rockies SS Josh Rutledge (who can’t hit for shit). Laura reigns from the University of Florida where she dominated the hot scene as a member of Zeta Tau Alpha. She also wears white pants a lot, which adds about 100 points to your hotness factor.
3. Kaylee Hartung – ESPN Networks
While the Longhorn Network has been a disaster ever since its inception, it has gotten one thing right: its ability to kickstart the careers of young, hot, reporters (Sam Ponder came before Kaylee). Kaylee seems like she’s got a little fiery side in her from her lack of height. I like that in a girl. She’s got something about her I can’t quite put my finger on that pushes her over the edge. Love it.
2. Olivia Harlan – ESPN Networks
Olivia really exploded onto the scene as of late. Hailing from the University of Georgia and Kappa Delta, she brings the heat to college football broadcasts. This blonde babe has everything you’re looking for in a girl: a face that is easy on the eyes, a body that just doesn’t quit, and a vast knowledge of the college football game. She’s going to make it big in this business.
1. Molly McGrath – FOX Sports
Yeah, if you thought anyone else deserves to be here, you’re wrong. Molly is far and away the number one hottest sideline reporter in all of college football. Molly isn’t new to the college football sidelines. She showed off her hotness as a Boston College cheerleader. Needless to say, she was the only reason that people came to BC games. Just LOOK at her. FOX Sports got the best, and it’s not even close.